Happiness Isn't Always Easy
by Kevin the Cornbread Slice
Summary: At the end of Eclipse, Jacob ran away. He then finds himself on a mysterious beach, where he learns about himself, and someone else.
1. Beachy Realizations

I wasn't sure where I was, I had been running so long...

Apparently, I was somewhere by the Ocean. Now that I was on a beach.

I reached down and picked up a stone.

I didn't understand, everyone deserved happiness, right?

It didn't seem that way; everything I had ever asked for, ever wanted was being stolen from me, right then and there. The past didn't matter, only the present.

"Isn't that the way I've always lived? Present now, future later, and past behind us?" I asked myself out loud

That didn't matter now. Now I had to look into the future. My whole life was based around her.

"Snap out of it, Jake!" I thought to myself, "She'd want you to be happy! She'd be happy for you, if the tables were turned."

Did I really believe that?

No...

She'd always, always be the selfish, yet so selfless Bella I'd fallen in love with.

I looked down at my stone, wondering if this was how she felt without him.

I hoped not.

Then another emotion washed through me. Rejection? Humiliation? Sadness? No, that's what I'd felt when I left. I now felt rage.

How could she do this to me? After all I'd done for her? She cared about me, I was sure of it. But, she cared about the leech more. Why wasn't she thinking about Charlie, Renee, ME? Now I was being selfish, but not really. She'd been more selfish. But, did that give me a freebie? it's usually spelled freebie I think No. Of course not.

I'd wasted my life on her, I internally scolded myself. I couldn't see it as a waste of time. It was a learning experience. Don't go for a girl you haven't imprinted on. She'll go for the leech. I laughed at myself. Humor... That's something I hadn't experienced in a while. But, it wasn't really laughing. I was laughing because I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't cry. I couldn't smile. What else was there to do?

I stared down the beach. I wasn't sure what to expect. People? Animals? There wasn't anything. I was happy no one else was there. What would they think of me? I wasn't sure why I cared. No one else mattered but Bella.

I laid down in the sand. Where else was I supposed to go?

I lay there, peacefully for a moment, not wondering anything. Just looking at the barely visable stars.

Then another thought popped into my head. Unthinkingly I growled at it. How dare it enter my newly peaceful mind. But what was I supposed to do. Banish it from my mind? Yeah, right. I let myself ponder it.

Why did blood- Edward send me a wedding invitiation? Did he honestly think I'd take it well? No, he thought I'd want the choice. I suppose he was a decent enough monster, if you could call him a monster.

"No, Jacob." I thought, "Respect him, he's your best friends future, get used to the idea."

That was something I could never do. She would never be one of them. Even when she was cold, hard and smelly. I'd always love her. I suppose that could be considered a pact. I don't think I'll ever be able to accept him. He'd always be the one who hurt Bella. That's what really made me hate him. He hurt her, more that he'd ever know. But, I knew. I'll always have to live with the images, the memories.

She'd had such a huge impact on my life. I don't know if I'll ever imprint. All I think about is Bella. The only person I can see, is Bella.

Maybe I've already imprinted on her, and I just don't know.

"That's impossible," I assured myself "Sam would have seen it in your mind."

Of course. How silly of me. I forgot about Sam.

"Sam," I thought "He'll never understand me. I don't think anyone understands me."

"What about Leah?" came a internal voice "She's gone through the same thing. Look at her, she's happy for Emily. Not hating her. You could learn something from Leah. She's so much stronger than we all think."

"Leah..." I thought to myself.

We're our situations any different? Not really... If anything, her's was worse. She had to watch the love of her life, be happy with another woman. Not just any woman. Her best friend.

But, me?

No, Bella was leaving. She's move, I wouldn't have the constant reminders in my face, all the time.

She had it much worse than me. How could I do this to her? To Leah.

I'd never really thought that much of Leah. Now that I did, I wondered. We'd known each other all out lives. Although we weren't friends.

Why was my heart beating fast? And, when I think her name, I can't breathe?

What was the purpose of leaving home? Getting away from Bella.

Bella.

Leah.

Bella.

Leah.

What's going on with me? I'm loosing it, am I in LOVE with Leah?

Do you have to see the person, to imprint on them?

I needed to be back in La Push. No matter what my Bella situation was.

Would Leah think she was a replacement? Second best?

Was she a replacement? Did I only think I loved her, because I lost my love?

Maybe. But, I could always take my chances. There was nothing wrong with trying.

But... I can't. What will Billy say? What will Charlie say?

I have to. Leah, is my future. My present. Soon she'll even be my past.

What were my reasons of staying on this mysterious beach? Loneliness? Easiness of thought?

I had run away from my fears. Hurting people on the way. How could I be so selfish?

Why, Jacob, WHY, WHY, WHY?!

In this little amount of time you could have had so much! Why were you so caught up in someone you can't have?

The pain eased slightly. I knew now. Sometimes, you have to hurt someone you loved, to find yourself.

Edward had gone through this very thing.

I understood now. Edward had seen something special. I needed to be at that wedding.

I sat up, phased and headed off in the direction of La Push.


	2. I Love You, Jacob

"Jacob," a voice came every once in a while.

I knew I was getting closer now, I could hear their voices. Clearer and clearer everytime.

The main voice I heard was Sam.

"I swear to GOD! If you hurt her, Jacob!"

He was such a hypocrite. If anyone ever hurt Leah, it was Sam.

"Just because I imprinted on Emily, doesn't mean I never loved Leah!"

Yeah, right. It was puppy love. Never anything else. Except for Leah. It meant something to her.

I felt myself get angry. How dare he! How could he? He never deserved someone as perfect as Leah.

"Calm down, Jake," the sweet voice entered my head, "Don't do anything you'll regret. I need you to come back whole."

I stopped suddenly.

"I will, Leah. What ever you need from me, I will give you."

"I love and trust you, Jake."

I started running again. Top-speed.


	3. Return to La Push

I didn't even think about stopping until I reached the edges of La Push.

Leah's house was the farthest out.

I never quited understood why she did that. Was it for the same reason I went to the beach? For peace? Except I never really found peace on that beach. Just realization. But that realization, and the knowledge that came with it were better than anything else in the world.

Going to that beach got me somewhere. Somewhere I despritaly needed to be.

That lonely, wet, dark beach brought me Leah. And she's all I could ever ask for.

I stepped up onto the porch. Leah's house was pretty. Definitely her's. It was small and white. Only two bedrooms and one bathroom. But it was nice. It had a big porch that connected right onto the kitchen.

I looked over, and I saw her, asleep on the porch swing.

I had to laugh at that. She'd fallen asleep waiting for me.

My mood changed very abruptly. She'd fallen asleep waiting for _me_. ME! Jacob Black!

I had to whoop with joy!

Leah woke with a start.

Threw her hand up in shock.

"Wuzzgoinon?" She asked me.

I just looked at her. How could I have ever looked at Leah and been able to look away.

I couldn't get enough of her gorgeous face. Those perfect plump lips, her high cheekbones, her everything. I couldn't look away.

"Jacob?" she asked me skeptically.

I knew she could tell I was staring at her. I'd just never seen anything so beautiful.

"Jacob? What's wrong?" she asked me again, starting to get agitated.

"Nothings wrong." I said, still unable to look away.

"Then why are you staring at me?" she asked, now amused.

"Because you're too beautiful, and I can't imagine how I never realized."

She sighed.

I couldn't wait any longer.

I grabbed her waist and pulled her up.

She caught me with her lips before I could think.

I kissed her back.

The kiss was magical. I couldn't think of anything else but Leah.

Nothing else mattered. If she were happy, I was happy. And anyone making her unhappy would have hell to pay.

Leah.

Leah.

Leah.

She was more important than anyone. More important than the rest of the pack, the rest of the reservation, and most importantly, more important than Bella.

**A/N: Bet you liked how at the end, I said "important" so many times. x)**

**Tell me what you think.**

**I'm brain storming the next chapter, which I'm hoping will be longer.**

**But I think I'll have to skip a few months, because my writing gets pretty bad as I get bored, also, I think I might just write these in Leah's POV. If I get ANY reviews.**

**And now, I was told I needed to do a disclaimer.**

**So, here goes.**

_**I don't happen to be Stephenie Meyer,**_

_who owns the complete Twilight Saga,_

_I suppose she even owns the fan fiction written on it,_

_(here I go thinking too much)_

_**and I honestly don't wish to be.**_


	4. Shower Thoughts

I woke up on the porch swing. Leah was laying next to me, her head on my warm chest.

I kissed the top of her head, and she moaned.

I laughed and she snuggled closer into my chest, then sighed.

"Leah, honey, I've got to get up. Sam needs to talk to me."

"No," she said, sleepily "You're staying here."

"Leah, c'mon, baby. I really need to talk with Sam. I'll come right back when I'm done." I told her. I didn't need Sam irritated with us right now. It was going to awkward enough telling him that I had imprinted on the girl he left because he imprinted on someone else.

God, we had a really screwed up family.

"Jakey. At least let me make you breakfast." She whined at me.

"Mmm. What's on the menu?" Breakfast sounded really, really good right now. I hadn't eaten since a few nights ago.

"Whatever you want. Eggs, bacon, pancakes, french toast, regular toast, cereal, English muffins, biscuits. Honestly, whatever." She listed off to me. I could feel my mouth begin to water. God, I loved this amazing woman.

"Bacon, eggs and pancakes." I stated. I hoped I wasn't over doing it. I had a tendency to do so.

"I was thinking the same thing," She told me happily "Why don't you go shower and I'll make the food."

I kissed her, and then got up and headed to her bathroom.

I loved the inside of her house. It wasn't too fancy and girly. It looked like it was decorated for comfort, not cuteness.

I walked towards the bathroom door. I opened it slightly. Almost afraid of what was in there. Again, I was pleasently shocked. It was a nice shade of green. It had a single bar of soap in the shower. She obviously kept everything packed away until she needed it. Leah had definitely kept her pack brothers in mind as she lived.

It was amazing, the way I felt about her. I loved her more than myself. And she was even the one who got me to leave La Push in the first place.

I hadn't thought about that.

I striped my clothes, adjusted the water temperature, and got it.

Should we discuss that? I wondered if she'd feel guilty. Maybe even cry. I hated tears. You could never tell exactly what was on someones mind when someone cried. It was confusing. And scary.

Should I even bring it up? She might get the wrong idea. I knew this was bad. Our relationship couldn't be good if I was afraid to discuss something with her.

I pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind. I wasn't ready to deal with something like that yet.

I was being a coward, I know. But, I just got things write for once in my life. And I wasn't ready to screw them up yet.

I busied myself by washing. **(A/N: Sorry...) **

I decided I was clean enough and got out. The cold air felt nice against my over-heated skin. I was always hot. I'd grown to accpet that. But that's not to say I didn't enjoy being cool with the chance came about.

That was the kind of thought I wished I could have more often. Body tempeture. I always had to be thinking about something painful.

I looked down to my clothes. Most of the time I was away they were in my mouth, seeing as I was a wolf. And so they were relatively clean still.

I put them back on.

The whole idea of underwear so many days in a row really disgusted me.

Oh, well.

I'd stop at Billy's on the way back from Sam's.

I suppose there was no not stopping at Billy's. He needed to talk to me, know I was safe. I'm sure he knew I was going to be alright. Regular people were absolutely no danger to me. And I didn't think the odds were that great of meeting another wolf or a bloodsucker.

I could smell bacon. And Leah.

God, two of the most heavenly scents on Earth.

**A/N: I'm not updating until this Sunday evening again. But, I will be writing this weekend, I'm just without Internet access. So I worked extra hard on this bit all week. Hopefully I'll get something done from Leah's POV today so I can post that for you too.**

_**I don't happen to be Stephenie Meyer,**_

_who owns the complete Twilight Saga,_

_I suppose she even owns the fan fiction written on it,_

_(here I go thinking too much)_

_**and I honestly don't wish to be.**_


	5. Kisses Over The Island

I walked out into the open kitchen. Dressed and squeaky clean.

Leah looked up at me and giggled.

"What?" I asked her, slightly annoyed that she was laughing at me. Even though I found her giggle to be the cutest thing in the whole world.

"You're too handsome. I understand how you felt last night."

I smiled at her warmly. It was nice to see Leah so happy. She was usually cold and cruel.

"Here," she said "Your breakfast."

She handed me a large plate, full of my food. I grabbed it and sat down at her island. She still stood on the other side.

"Thank you, Leah." I told her sincerely.

She just looked at me for a moment. I think she caught on quickly.

"For what, Jacob." She asked me, not quite as cold as she used to be, but with tints of it.

"For making me leave La Push," I told her "If I hadn't, I might not have realized I loved you so much."

She smiled, and her eyes began to water. This is exactly what I had feared. I didn't want her to cry. At all. I couldn't handle it if she started really crying. I'd probably have to leave, which would just make everything worse. I'd just have to be strong.

'Man up,' I told myself 'For Leah!'

"I'm glad too. And part of me knew something would happen. That you'd finally get some idea. I've known for a very, very long time. But I am sorry for putting you through that pain." she said, tears running down her cheeks and her voice cracking slightly.

"Any pain that I feel for you, is completely worth it. And I'll never regret it. But I'M sorry. For being so caught up in myself, I didn't realize how much I did love you." I can't believe I didn't notice. How could I get so caught up in my own misery? Not only that, I claimed Bella to be selfish. There was no way she was anymore selfish than I.

"It's not your fault. I understand what it's like for someone you love to leave you for someone else." she said. Completely seriously.

"I could kill Sam." I stated, not really thinking about it.

"I could kill Bella." Leah said right back.

I jumped over the island and picked her up. It wasn't difficult at all. I had all the upper body strength I needed. I could lightly jump over it as if I was a cat.

She wrapped her legs around my waste and I kissed her.

Passionately.

We'd gotten through a wall, something that was keeping our relationship from getting anywhere. Now, we were free to do what we pleased. Advance how we wish.

She let her legs drop down, and I released her.

"Go eat," she said and hit me with her dish rag.

I laughed at sat back down.

**A/N: I know this is pretty short. But it's Tuesday! Proud of me? Haha. I just needed to get this through before I could get very far into my story. Hope you enjoy! Also, sorry about the title. I couldn't think of anything better.**

**I don't happen to be Stephenie Meyer,**  
_who owns the complete Twilight Saga,  
I suppose she even owns the fan fiction written on it,  
(here I go thinking too much)_  
**and I honestly don't wish to be.**


	6. To Be Satisfied

I stepped out of the kitchen. And into the cool morning air. It was a nice feeling. It was a little colder than usual. But deliciously crisp. **(A/N: Sorry, that was the best adjective I could come up with.)**

It had been unbareably hard to leave. Leah was so amazing. She was funny, confident, sweet and beautiful.

Realistically, she and Bella were similar. But they were so different.

I really didn't get myself anymore. I guess it didn't matter. All I needed to understand were Leah's needs.

And I'm pretty sure I did. The problem was satisfying them.

I knew where I needed to start. Accepting myself. And to accept myself I needed to learn more.

I had no idea where to begin. So many questions were running through my mind. So many complicated, important questions.

How to answer them?

I almost felt insane talking to myself the way I was.

But it was working. If you can talk to yourself, you can ask yourself questions.

"Do you still love Bella, Jake?" I asked myself. Lord, this was insane. Maybe I am insane.

"Kinda," I replied "It's sisterly now, though. Not as... yeah." I answered.

"Do you still hate Edward?" I asked.

"Because he's a vampire, not because of Bella."

Those were the starter questions. Now that I knew the answer to them, I could accept myself. And so could Leah. I didn't fully understand yet. But I know I will.

I approached Sam and Emily's house.

The thought made me mad.

Whatever did Leah do to deserve that. She did nothing. She was sweet and pure. Sam ruined her. I don't think he really realized how much, even if he knew he did.

A part of her was gone. It was a part she could never have back.

It didn't belong to Sam, he abused it. It didn't belong to me. Unless Leah decided so. Why did he get something so precious? Where was the justice in this world?

Then I understood.

The same thing happened to me.

Because we were both half, we fit together to make a whole. It wasn't like swapping a part for a part. We fit together. We were made for each other. More so than anyone else, because we fit together.

We had something stronger than an imprint. We had a broken bond. A bond that could never be broken. By anyone.

I stepped up onto the porch, and prepared myself.

I knew exactally what Sam was going to say. I knew it. It probably wouldn't change anything.

I must be insane. This was crazy. Sam was going to kill me for leaving. There was no way he'd spare me... No way.

I slowly and cautiously reached down to the door knob, and twisted...

**A/N: Sorry, guys. This took forever! I'm honestly sorry. Leave me some reviews, I'd love that. I'm writing a one-shot now. But as soon as I finish that, I'll post a new chapter. Promise.**

**I don't happen to be Stephenie Meyer,**

_who owns the complete Twilight Saga,_

_I suppose she even owns the fan fiction written on it,_

_(here I go thinking too much)_

**and I honestly don't wish to be.**


	7. Forgiveness

I slowly stepped into the house.

"Jacob," I heard Emily's sweet voice call "How lovely to see..."

Sam was in front of me before I could finish.

"Jacob," Sam said, his voice not holding as much sugar and relief.

"Samuel Uley!" Thank GOD for Em. "Don't you be mean to him."

He flinched as he heard her. I almost felt bad for him. I understood how he felt, to some extent. Just thinking about Bella with the Him made me feel sick. I didn't love her. I just liked her more that most people.

"Emily, I..." He stuttered

"Handle your business, Sam." She said, fiercely.

He looked back to me, eyes narrowed. It was weird. All the time, whenever we phased, Sam always seemed the least scary and the most calm.

Not now.

"Alright, _Jake._ We need to set up some things. Such as re-doing your patrol days."

I didn't know what to say, so I just went along.

"What days are left. I'll take whatever people don't want. I am the one who left."

"Okay, problem one solved."

I was having a hard time thinking of what to say. I wanted to tell him that there was no way under the stars that I could hurt Leah.

"Jake, I'm sorry. This isn't fair to you, Leah or Emily. But I do love her. I've always loved her. I'm sure you of all people understand. It's just not as strong. Not nearly as strong."

This felt good. Having him open up to me. I did understand, and I appreciated him realizing that I, of all people, could.

"I know, Sam. I'm not holding anything against you." I said.

I could tell relief washed over him. He was unable to speak. But I knew he was grateful.

"Take care of her, Jacob." He said gruffly.

"I will, Sam." I said as I turned to the door.

The minute I was out I heard Emily come back down.

"I'm sorry, Em."

"You should be, Sam."

**A/N: AH. So this is lame. I know. I'm sorry. I wish it wasn't. Blah, blah, blah. You get the point. Update Sunday? Phosho. : )**

_I'm not Stephenie Meyer.  
And I honestly don't wish to be._


	8. Happiness is Possible

As I walked home I thought about what I has just heard.

Emily was obviously upset with Sam. He deserved it. In a way. He was making her hurt. He imprinted on her, he loved her. But he was still feeling things for Leah. That could do nothing but hurt. He had already caused so much pain. The bloodsuckers had already caused so much pain. And now, more pain was coming. I could sense it. More avoidable pain was coming.

Once again, I arrived at Leah's house. It warmed me in a way. Not as far as temperature goes. But happiness wise. I was finally happy. And, nothing, and no one could ever take that away from Leah and I.

**A/N: This is the end, guys. Yep, I know you'll probably be upset with me. And you might ever send mean reviews (a review is a review, I'll still be happy). I know exactly what you're thinking because authors have pulled this on me. Really. I just don't really like where this story is going. And I'd like to start on a newer one. Really, though. What more is there to write? Children? That involves lemons. Which I'm not capable of doing (I've tried...). Jacob and Leah found each other. And Jake isn't left mourning over the loss of Bella. Which is all I really ever wanted for this story. It's short. And probably not that good. But I'm proud of it nonetheless. I hope you enjoyed it. But, I really did feel bad about leaving you hanging on the whole Sam and Emily thing. So I'm writing a little more on that.**

* * *

**Sam's POV**

"Dear God, Em. I'm sorry. What will it take?" I was begging her. Willing the tears not to fall. I was so sorry. So sorry. How could I not love Leah? I never stopped loving Leah. But I shouldn't have hurt Emily.

"So much more that you can ever give, Sam. It would take a heart. Because you've broken mine!" She cried. Literally, sobbing.

"Emily. Please. Don't talk like that. I love you, I need you." Tears were beginning to roll down my cheeks.

"But Sam, how could you? I know I'm not being fair. But how could you? I love you so much it hurts. Physically causes me pain!" It was getting to the point where she was hard to understand she was sobbing so hard.

"I know, Emily. I know. And it's my fault. It all my fault. You should never have to go through this. You shouldn't love me. I shouldn't be loved." I whispered back.

"Oh, Sam," she cried and threw herself at me, "don't EVER say that! I need you just as much as you need me."

"Emily..." I sighed. Having her in my arms felt so amazing. So right, "Don't ever think I don't love you. I love you more than anything, anyone in the world. Don't ever think I don't. Please."

"Prove to me you love me, Sam. I want you in every way. To show me you need me."

"Of course." I moaned. Kissing every single one of her scars.

As I picked her up, she wrapped her legs around my waist. I walked - or ran - up to our bed room. Kissing her all the way there.

I kicked our door shut behind me, and proceeded to show her, in every way, just how much I loved her.

**A/N: That's the end! The very, complete and total end! Haha! I hope with all of my heart this was satisfying for you.**

_I own NOTHING.  
Because I am NOT Stephenie Meyer.  
And to be honest,  
I don't WISH to be._


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